Current mood: Wishing I didnt feel like crying alone here

<<<WARNING: The following journal entry is copied from my Myspace Blog and therefore I wrote this when i was feeling the worst at the time, and also written where i didnt care about my language so im sorry if i offend anyone wit the following but its how i feel right now...>>>


I cant stand it much more, NOTHING and i mean almost NOTHING is going right for me lately, i plan to do this or that and other things crash EVERYTHING... i enjoyed some time away from home a few days ago at cindy's house but even then i felt something was missing from the picture and i still feel that way.

Not only am I frustrated and stressed out for just about every reason out there or no reason at all (i dont even know now im so aggrivated)

I just want to find a really dark corner, curl into a ball (or whatever shape my fat ass can make) and just cry till my eyes dry up or something, to be honest im so sad, depressed, and frustrated right now that im crying while typing (kinda hard to see through layers of tears but whatever) and I just wish i had more than just home frustration and lectures at school.

I cant just call up someone and be like "hey wanna go hang out" I dont have anyone who can do that, and what few people i do have, its not that easy to either get the same times off, OR the freedom to do so.

I love school, the classes this quarter seem really cool so far and thats a plus but no matter how awesome a mood i am in at school, when its over and i return home or have days off or im sitting here at my computer listning to my aunt uncle and mom talking i just cant stand it, i wanna get out, i wanna have something to go do

AND IM SICK, AND TIRED of having plans get trashed by them. it seems no matter what it happens. THye say they are gonna do this (for example today they said they were taking the kids to the pool) and instead they sat in the living room and bullshitted ALL FUCKING DAY while the kids waited and waited... its fucking stupid. Not only that but they even ruin smaller things like take out orders just because they cant drive ONE MORE BLOCK.... and because my mom wasnt adament about getting what i requested (beleive i dont ask for much... but my uncle is an ass who thinks that gino's pizza is to far from shake n go (NOT EVEN A MILE FROM IT THE DUMB ASS))

Gosh... im just bitching but i guess i needed to get my frustration out somehow since punching something or..... reverting to... somethin else is out of the question i guess sounding like a whiney ass bitch is the next best thing.

>_<